Tuesday, March 24, 2009

My dad's struggle!

I just want to let you know that my father is still struggling against different diseases. The Parkinson Disease is getting him hard. He has it almost voor 16 (!) years now and he's getting worse every single day. He can't walk anymore, and they are trying to get him on his feet again. Even speaking for him is hard to do. So last thursday they bring him to the hospital. Last sunday he suddenly got a high fever. Now he's recovering from a urinary tract infection!
It's hard to see a man struggle like this for so many years. He said a few times that it's enough. He doesn't want to live any longer. His words: "This is a martyrdom, why am I still living?" I can't blame him for this feelings and thoughts.
Because of this I can't sleep very well and often I have a good cry during the day. I'm not ready yet to say goodbye to him. Will I ever be, no I don't think so.

So I try to get my mind off a little bit, with working and stitching and spending a lot of time with my two girls.

Thank you all for your sweet comments and prayers. I appreciate them very much.

10 comments:

Jan said...

Oh Carin. Know that my prayers are being said for your father and you! I am so sorry to hear of his struggles and how badly it is affecting his peace of mind. I do so hope it gets better for him and that you are comforted and able to rest again!!

((((hugs))))

Deb said...

My prayers are with you and your father. I have a friend whose father is suffering from the same disease and seems to get worse day by day.

Terri(TerriBoog) said...

Dear Carin, Please know that I am thinking of, and praying for, all of you. My heart goes out to you ~ I can only imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling. I will pray for peace for your father and rest for you, my friend.

KarenV said...

Carin, I'm so sorry to read about your father's health struggles. I will keep you both in my thoughts as you come to terms with this difficult situation. {{{hugs}}

Patti said...

Carin I am really sorry about your father's health. My step-father had Parkinsons and it is a really nasty disease as it seem to do nothing for years and years and then all of a sudden it starts in earnest making life so intolerably difficult for the person concerned and the people who love them. I sincerely that your father doesn't have to suffer too much more with this because believe it or not he will be better have no life than no quality of life. It will be hard for you when he does pass away but it is harder for him living. Sorry to be so maudlin but it is the truth. My prayers are with you both. Lots of Love Patti xxx

grace said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your father, my grandfather is also suffering from Parkingson's disease, so I can relate to how you must feel. I hope the best for both of you.

Loraine said...

I've thought about you many times today, and your struggles with your Dad. I've thought about what I could write that would bring you some comfort during this difficult time. I know I am a stranger to you living half-way around the world, but I just want you to know that I believe that trials are given to us to help us grow. Perhaps this time you are given with your Dad will help you grow closer to him, more than you could have without having to take care of him. You are also developing empathy for others who have struggled with similar problems.
I know that if your father passes away, you will see him again. This mortal existence is but a small moment in the eternities.
Know that someone far away is thinking and praying for you. I do hope that you can have peace during this very difficult time.
Stitching is a wonderful stress reliever, thank goodness! What would we do without it.

Siobhan said...

(((((((((((((Carin)))))))))))))))) You & your father are in my prayers. I can only imagine how hard it is to watch him suffer. Take care, try to spend some time with needle & thread to give your mind some peace, and cry when you need to. We're here for you and thinking of you all the time. Big hugs.

Mayté said...

((((Carin)))) We are never ready to say goodbye to a love one. My thoughts and prayers are with you and him. Show him all the love that feel for him, this is the best time to do so.

(((Hugs)))

Mylene said...

(((big hugs)))Carin. Thinking of you and your family.